I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
dude, osama threatened the US again
dude. i slept with your sister last night
what?
I saw that as an opertune moment to drop some big news
yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
If Andre Agassi did Crystal Meth, what was John McEnroe doing?
the only thing he could say in english were 'insert coin here' and 'game over'. i love spanish men.
Could you please tell them to stop whispering "thundercunt" every time I walk in the room?
And then somehow we were arguing over how to fold our arms
The camera shows a viking with a white mask, a creepy green guy, a gorilla, and a pumpkin throwing eggs and laundry detergent in his yard
OHHH and there was a Batman too.
Let's just do a victory lap through all of our exes.�
Just spent the equivalent of my life savings in the liquor store. This is going to be a good weekend
So guess who got away with telling their girlfriend she's insane multiple times in a Valentine's day card. Yup, this guy.
At one point, he came in to give her a pep talk, and then after he left, she just kept whispering his name into the toilet between heaves.
He drives a tundra! Of course I fucked him. Im just saying eventually im going to need help moving and he has a nice truck. Its like thank you for later on
When I found out he was circumcised I called his mother and thanked her
I’d clean the kitchen before making food. Mark “rang in the New Year” with some rando in there last night
Randomize
