ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
is it bad that I sent her a picture of my penis on her husbands birthday?
How was I supposed to know she would get offended when I asked her how long it took to draw on her eyebrows.
Hulk Hogan has now convinced 2 women to marry him & I have yet to have a successful or healthy relationship. I am officially depressed.
I think I just found part of a tooth on my bed... What goes on in here?
my boss told me he would look for my wallet when he went back to the strip club tonight.
I'm drunk in a field. the chupacobra is going to eat me. if I die serve vodka at my funeral.
Let's just say that the best way to get a girls attention is not to slap her on the ass from the window of a moving cab.
You were asking her how her mother would feel if y'all dated, etc. And I was yelling at you your girlfriends name over and over again in between gags and sobs.
I am on my usual post-jerkoff high of eternal happiness. Like I could punch a fucking tiger.
I went to Christian school in the 90s. I can finger blast anything, but dignity.
does 2pm fall under the wake n bake category?
Woke up from a black out in a strangers Jeep without phone, shoes, or wallet.
Nice girl until she takes off the fake human suit and shows you the flesh eating demon she truly is
So in hindsight, going through the McDonald's drive thru plastered at 4 a.m. on stolen bikes was a bad idea.
Randomize
