Alright folks.. i have made history - I just hit my 2nd PARKED car SOBER withing 6 months.. :*( wtf?!
..Thats also how I think I got the lyrics from MIAs Paper Planes Sharpeed on my ass? Maybe.
i wish i could just hire someone to go down on me every night until i fall asleep
i cant believe i hit a parked car with a pink dildo in my mouth... fuckin epic
She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
Right before we were going to have sex he said it was his "lucky condom" I don't know if that means its used or what.. But I'm freaking out either way.
Damn it if I pass out in the bathroom one more time this month im going to rehab...
Dude, Donte totally wants it. I don't have any idea how I do it. I'm not even cool. I'm not even the hero Gotham deserves. I'm barely high. My hands are swelling. Want me to pick you up anything from five guys?
I AM VODKA MAN
He said did you just interrupt me midsentence to admire another man's penis?
the night was just a blur of sex and pie
No we were too stoned to stop you from wiping the peanut butter all over the car.
as a side note pls kill me
What happened last night? All I know is that I walked into class this morning and everyone was chanting my name.
hypothetically, what's the best method to remove an stray semen gob from a roommate's important school document?
Randomize
