pedialite and red bull = repair kit
She said "You blew my mind last night." and I said "nah, I just blew my load." and her mom heard.
he said i was chugging vodka in the parking lot, gave my # to a married man, started a food fight, and passed out at the bar. how could he NOT consider that a good first date???
How am I a tease?
Dude you flashed me ur vagina and walked away.
ONLY PART OF IT.
Giving me the bigger bowl of ramen isn't considered "romantic"
She's the barista slut.
did you really just refer to me me as an old fashioned penis?
using blue streamers we found on the bathroom floor was probably not the best substitute for toilet paper.
I don't know if it is the Everclear or chemistry, but i think my brain is coming out of my ears.
I may or may not have puked in the ladies room. Now I get to convince my client to go to substance abuse treatment. Oh, the irony.
He started yelling "you tha man!" while I was reverse cowgirl
Help me help you realize you are a moron
So I said "fuck it" and made myself a sandwich
Ran into my FWB on my walk of shame and went back to her place. Even my walk of shames are awesome!!!
I swear to god, if you ever yell my name during sex with my sister again..your balls will be stapled to your nipples.
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