i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
I just had a 2 1/2 hr conversation about the pros and cons of taping your ballsack to your taint, which then led into the unveilling of lady gaga being a hermaphrodite.
I woke up and she had washed, dried, folded my clothes, cooked me breakfast, and had started cleaning my room
haha, you sure you didnt fuck your mom?
you know the rule: 3 consecutive asian hookups makes you an asian fetish guy, no exceptions
It's either jizz or frosting, and either way, someone's being held accountable.
I mean...he was throwing up for almost 3 consecutive hours. I don't think there's a chance in hell that would have tasted even close to tolerable.
its warm now so i can go back to sleeping with guys based on their fuckability rather than how much warmth they generate.
Ughhh I can't remember the last time "time fell back or springed forward" and I wasn't at the bar to argue about it :(
Shotgunning beers to finish a midterm project at 3am is a good idea right?
Yeah, but she is forever sending my vagina on some sort of mission.
Just cried to my husband about how much I'm going to miss my boyfriend... Maybe marriage is going to work for me after all
I found my grandmother's vibrator, how was your day?
There is an unwrapped tampon, a condom, a rubber chicken and a slim Jim currently sitting on our dining room table.
You can't be mad... I'm letting you jerk off in my parents shower
It's a shame things ended how they did. We were well on our way to transforming from acquaintances with benefits to friends with benefits.
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