Important detail I forgot to tell you: leprechaun loves david bowie.
Just bought a handle of vodka with the excuse of "just in case we drink tonight"
They turned the water off again. Brushed my teeth with whats left from those pitchers of mojitos. So hung over i dont even care.
ugh... I can't wait for campus to get back. Then everyone will have other things to try to have sex with besides me.
i just found this napkin with your number on it in my jacket pocket. it reads amy, drawing of a wine bottle and a house
Not much, really baked..... beethoven is AMAZING it's like i'm flying in space with baby jesus
She made a roadhead CD. Can I marry her?
Apparently I told the girl smoking was terrible for her, and then requested it in my mouth.
Meeting his dad and brother for the first time at the jail while I'm bailing him out ISN'T exactly how I pictured this relationship going....
She has either a C-Section scar or a bullet wound, I can't quite tell
I just want a teacup pet pig so I can take him to parties with me and never have to walk home alone again.
On the upside I'm hairless from the waist down. On the downside, I just chemically burned my labia
He keeps bees of course he's weird
this place is dumb. no one understands my Sunday morning alcoholism here.
Its really awkward pooping while on videochat. Even if you turn the video off.
Randomize
