I figured girls wouldn't be down to sleep w/ a guy who plugged a pregnant chick
I'm at some bar in brklyn... just made out with a guy named Owen.
He is a pre-school teacher... just sang me a song about weather.
New beer pong partner names "Bus Boys" ... We clear tables
i'm making a list of conversation topics in my blackberry so the ride won't be so awkward
I'm gonna make this happen. You think it would be too forward to text him my room number with turn by turn directions straight to my crotch?
Apparently you can talk a girl into leaving the bar and coming back to your tent, who knew?
We blazed in her bathtub. All 5 of us. Not easy bro
my mom just told me I should hit it and quit apparently she does not like this new girl
I just took the batteries out of the xbox remote so she could replace the dead ones in her vibrator If that's not love I don't know what is
I thought I would be a proper lady and put my spare panties in a ziplock
He's unconstrained by sanity, physics, or his liver.
I cannot lay down. I will throw up my life and your life and the class hamster I had in third grade.
The moment when you and your BFF compare frequently used emojis and realize you have similar mental disorders and a really weak alibi.
WHY IS THERE A GOLD FISH IN MY BONG??
On cleanup... i've counted 94 solo cups so far.. oh, and i found a miniature top hat in the microwave
Randomize
