he said my vag tasted like ravioli n pennies... i forgot I was on my period
I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
I told him that he is like a snow storm I never know when he is coming, how many inches I will get, or how long it will last
Just found out the guy that gave me herpes died. now everytime I get a flare up, it'll be like he's coming back to say hello
I told my dad that bagels were the equilelent of angels kisses and if he bought me one i would do a split
she looks like she scalped a horse for her weave
JAMES WASHOMGTON STATE ATTACKED US
WE'RE FYCKED UL HARDCORW
THE REISLING ATRACEX US
Is shaving my mustache contingent on you sleeping over tonight?
IT WAS SO BIG. I FORGOT GOD MADE THEM LIKE THIS.
We were wearing togas. So having sex was really easy to do without taking any clothes off.
Nothing too major over here lately. Just had a date with an ex-internet porn star turned lawyer. He said: "at my 3rd burning man I taught a workshop on BDSM" and I knew it was going to be a fun night.
I'm at 45 minutes post orgasm, and I still feel my insides spasming. Pretty sure I just fucked Superman.
at what point last night did i get this tattoo of an anchor made of dicks?
around eleven
Okay penises are actually pretty exciting. The people attached to them are an entirely different story
I'm only texting you this bc god forbid circumstances change when you wake up but currently santa is asleep on top of the washer and dryer.
Randomize
