I must be too annoying 4 u.
Call me at 7:30 and make sure I'm not asleep in this booth at Waffle House.
Also how the fuck did i get like 30 brown napkins
so whenever I text yeah my phone automatically corrects it to yeahhhheeehhyeahyeahh .. too much party in the USA?
i could have sworn she did an overextended split with her legs over her head but now i think it was just the drugs
That doesn't help it make any more sense. Because now you've brought pinata condoms into this.
At what point did you actually think that you could throw knives safely?
I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser.
While I was fucking him, he grabbed a taco off his shelf and started eating it. I had taco dripped on me. I have no idea where the taco came from.
We were having an argument with his friends mom about whether it was worse that he bootycalled me at 4 a.m. or that I bootycalled him at 12 in the afternoon
My landlord showed my apartment to a prospective tenant today and I had my vibrator and gun both chilling on my nightstand
I had sex with marker all over my face so I can do just about anything.
I want your cock. I also want to cuddle you and tell you how amazing you are, because you know balance.
Why the fuck are you playing with legos?
Why the fuck are you questioning me?
ATTENTION: just found out of have strep. if we have had sex in the past week, might wanna go to the doctor. if you plan to have sex with me in the next 20 days go buy some condoms. stupid antibiotics.
Randomize
