did we hook up?
no, because you kept repeating "itty bitty titties" when i took off my shirt
They need to add a relationship status option on fb that says "having the baby of..."
there's only 1 girl at Mount St Mary that's a virgin. the Mary statue standing outside
i walked toward the cop car thinking it was the liquor store lights nd by that time it was too late to escape the trap
I have been way too involved with your nipples this weekend
I'm going to need a Jurassic park sized pooper scooper to deal with all this shit last night caused.
Bored at work. googling vodka waffles.
Girl re-adjusts bra, no one bats an eye. I re-adjust nuts, everyone stares.
We made out and he didn't grope me. I liked it. I felt like I was innocent again.
i just woke up to her giving me a toothy BJ so I had to break into your bedroom and steal about 4 condoms. Sorry for waking you. :(
Can you repeat that, but with context?
He played Harry Potter Fan Fiction videos to get me in the mood. He might be the one.
All I want is a wedding with a dress and a veil and where I can go and my cat can go.
at this point, i'm only going to therapy to get more free condoms
Heard flapping noises behind me. It was my roommate flapping her bathrobe like wings, saying "I'm a faaaiiiiry."
Randomize
