Jason Williams (yeah the ex-nets center...) drunkenly told me that, while drinking, I should take an ambien and a cialis before i go home...that will "give me a 25 minute window to have sex and then goto sleep before the bitch starts bothering me"....
instead of telling him i dont hook up with closet frat guys, i gave him his "straight' fraternity brothers number... pike house will be interesting tonight
does drinking everclear count as brushing your teeth? because i think they are sterilized
I mean I like that it's warm enough to open the windows, but it annoys me that I can't walk around naked anymore.
idk but i have you stored in my phone as 'guy with beard doing body shots'
well its a long story but basically i overcame many cockblocks
She told me my pubes were as soft as "fine wool"
I sat on the toilet and peed through my jeans, then I pissed the bed and blamed him...do you think well have a 2nd date?
He did a line of coke off my stomach then flipped me over and smacked my ass. Then, while he was talking dirty to me, he told me he wanted to hire someone to clean my room. And that's when he lost his boner. Life is so hard.
How are you getting in?
I know some influential drag queens
you licked my face then when I finally got you to the bathroom, mid puke you said you liked the taste of my foundation.....you weren't drunk at all....
Just told my roommate about "analvice" and she is horrified and the Sound of Music is ruined.
But on the bright side the arresting officer was just as hot as I remember and I took a pretty okay mugshot.
ETA 20 minutes and if you greet me at the door with a gin & tonic I’ll give you head.
I was just seen throwin up on the bookstore building near a trashcan by parents. Naturally I throw a thumbs up and say go college
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