Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
when she was cumming she looked like terri schiavo. it took all of my memorized porn images to not go limp.
dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
You told him your wedding ring was part of your costume. not okay!!
I'm pretty sure this all started when I found a vibrator in my mom's sock drawer and had my first orgasm when I was ten...
I just figured you know how to drive a boat and I know how to get drunk. What can go wrong
Clearly that person doesn't understand how efficient getting drunk and working out at the same time is.
I'm pretty sure they had a hash wedding cake. I love college weddings.
Can she stop putting up all these passive aggressive statuses and please come out of the "I-want-to-be-a-pornstar" closet already?
He was bigger soft than my ex was hard. A gold medal rebound.
After getting rejected by him, I got a strangely pleasant dick pic from an unknown number with the caption: "I hope this gets you through the night ;)" It's like the Cock-Gods were shining down upon me.
You know its a good morning when you wake up with blonde hair extensions in your pocket. . .
Why are you naked at 4pm?
Its my birthday, I dont have to wear clothes
Fuck my life... Im so horny Im gonna take it out on this sandwich
He kept saying "i'm lost" while he was sitting on his couch...
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