Her brother is deaf.
no wonder she was so good with her hands
she kept her crown on the whole time i was giving her birthday sex
im already regretting the extreme lack of break up sex that took place
I've decided I'm either going to ease him into this breakup by having a threesome with him and the girl I'm leaving him for, or be brutal and fuck his room mate. it depends how nice he is tonight.
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
Not a chance. She stuck her hand under my kilt and she told the whole table I was indeed commando. She broke all the rules.
I'd love to sympathize with you but I'm drunk in a mansion
That last minute feeling of hesitation on whether I should bring my health card to the bar usually means I'm in for a good night.
That girl from the bar sent me a text saying that she wants to wear my cock as a hat. A cock hat. Is that good or bad?
No. Dude. I didn't knoe it eas floibg to move. It's slepprru ixuy!
Honestly I was sitting in managerial accounting thinking "I really need to get my shit together and stop drinking so much wine." But when you asked I realized... it's wine. It's always a yes.
Send me a picture of our booze closet. I'm homesick.
It happend again, swimming on the floor... Vodka is my friend
The neighbors in the apartment above us are at it again. The roleplay this time is cop and prostitute. I give it 30 minutes, you? Already sounds better than the last one
I HATE BEING THIS HIGH FML IT'S LIKE I'M MAKING UP FOR ALL THE 4:20S I DIDNT DO ALL AT ONCE
Randomize
