I'm not a real person
I'm sorry, everyone knows that
I missed Saved by the Bell this morning, but Ashley in a later episode of Fresh Prince is keeping the morning wood alive.
All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
I got my parents high. They've been watching spongebob for six hours. You cannot tell me I'm not the favorite
he has a knack for choosing the worst time to masturbate
Note for the future: whiskey syrup is AMAZING on 3am pancakes.
I'm tired and starving, and I'm pretty sure I just cost the company 33,000 dollars...fuck you and you're "you'll love going to work high" nonsense.
Last time i was there we saw the window of the pizza place we were at get busted, we were pulled out of a taxi to be questioned by the cops, and we peed outside a waffle house. I'm in.
I think I should just accept my destiny that I'm going to be someone's second wife
My tits sealed my fate
No Robbie is the name of a kid or dog, not an adult man who's fucking you.
Btw, do you want me to fix this with a box of wine and a chick flick or is this more of a 'lets head to the strip club' problem? I'm just trying to analyze the emotional depth of the situation.
We smoked bowls and watched Cops for what seemed like hours. And yet I know I'll go back.
For real, I've been ditched by my boyfriend twice today alone. I fucking shaved for this guy.
Somewhere out there, Gloria Steinem just started to cry.
Seriously I'm not after your cock. It's a nice bonus, like finding $20 in the dryer, but not the reason I hang out with you.
I shamewalked barefoot this morning and the Dos Equis delivery guy judged the shit out of me.
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