look no pants
she just put all the cheese in the refrig to sleep.. and yes we did finish you bottle.
She told me she couldnt give me head last night because she was running out of listerine
Jager Bombs are cool, but hydrogen bombs are where it's at. Sparks and jager equals instant black out, I mistakenly tried eating a cigarette thinking it was a nacho.
My 10 year old brother handed me a pack of condoms and said "here, i don't wanna be an uncle yet."
Cause i'm hanging over the toilet bowl and thinking about your ball in my mouth is not helping
why oh why did i suck thise tits. nothing but trouble fuuuuuu
My love will cover her like lulu lemon yoga pants. Casually supportive and always complimenting your Ass.
Pretty sure I sang "What Makes You Beautiful" to some random guy in a parking lot last night...
I shaved my pussy for you. If you complain about a single hair that I missed again, you will be greeted by a bush the next time you go down on me and i will MAKE YOU KEEP GOING
I mean metaphorically speaking, maybe we've all fucked on top of a frat house at some point in our lives
Wanna go on a picnic?
... by picnic I mean wanna sit on a blanket and drink with me?
I should buy myself lingerie for Valentine’s Day instead of a present for you because I am the present
A drag queen just ate a dollar out of my ass. I don't know which one of us has hit rock bottom
Idk if I want to put a bra on
Randomize
