We couldn't find any ping pong balls, so we used a fishing bobber. Could we be more country?
M WATCHING THE HISTORY CHANNEL AND IT SAID THAT WHEN THE LUST PART OF THE BRAIN IS ACTIVATED THE JUDGEMENT PART IS NOT. THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
someone lit off fireworks while I puked in the street. I was like congratulating me for making it through homecoming.
Apparently I joined a band last night. Definitely my favorite blackout.
he told her to call him "Frog Legs" and she still fucked him and not you.
You screamed for campus security to do something about the police officer who dumping ur 40
I take back all the times I've said life was unfair. I'm about to have two trained bartenders for a girlfriend and roommate
Haha, apparently they frown upon male strippers there. Bouncers couldn't catch me tho.
Hey guy that stepped on my foot, don't slap my ass to apologize.
Dude imagine how many pictures of dicks Obama gets. That can't be unusual. Almost every kids in the US has written the president a letter.
He got cut off by the bartender. So he kept buying people drinks of they would i get him a drink. Before you know it him and 8 people were outside the bat trying to get people. To by them drinks
I dressed up as a "typical white girl" which meant I wore my yoga pants and uggs all night. BEST. IDEA. EVER. Most comfy halloween everrrr.
Goal: finish my bio assignment before the Xanax kicks in.
Wake up. Smoke. Masturbate while eggos cook. Go back to bed. Smoke. Body spray shower. Beer with breakfast. Class. Morning of a champion.
You ran the halls of the dorm naked handing out condoms. You were the sex fairy. Best you can do if you're not getting laid.
Randomize
