Whats contracted in vegas does not stay in vegas....
never. drinking. again.
lets not get ahead of ourselves.
Those former-lesbian gone white-trash bars always seem to be your favorite.
I got to stop making out with my boss at work. I think we should just get it overwith, be dissaponted and move on.
dude. she was texting with her nipple. I love touch screen phones!
we found you eating frozen orange juice with a spoon and then drinking vodka from the bottle.
If tjhis were a lake full of vodka and i were a ducl Id swim my way down and ddrink my way up
You told me to pour the Gatorade on you "like Flashdance"
you tried turning the bar into a spelling b competition last night and every time someone couldn't spell something you would make them chug.
I got back from work this morning after working the night shift to find an NFL player scaling the side of our apartment...from your window. He just took sneaking out to all new level. Care to explain?
I think that about sums it up, actually.
Well he was mad because I chose tequila over him. He obviously doesn't understand that he will always be second to my first true love.
The dude is a cop how would I ever date a cop I wouldn't be able to talk about the first TWENTY-SEVEN years of my life!
I have an empty apartment, Chinese food, and fresh batteries in my vibrator. There's nothing on this earth that could lure me out tonight.
Fuck him. He can bang that skeezer all he wants. Fuck her lawyerness I’m a YouTube star
So being hungover in an office full of people with hangovers for 9 hours is quite possibly what hell will be like.
Randomize
