Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
who are you and why are you in my phone as dr. seuss
Any girl that compares her vag to a hot ham sandwich is beyond a slut
U of I kids don't fist pump to Sweet Caroline. Get me the fuck out of here.
She was so happy she found her sunglasses, that she blew me. Im now randomly hiding things of hers in hopes she'll find them and I'll get a repeat performance.
i was calling myself "cat the lion" and tried eating the computer mouse because i thought it was "my prey"
My 10 year old son gave me a bottle of jameson for fathers day. Did you have something to do with this?
Vodka @ 9pm. Library. Nothing can go wrong, I promise.
Soooo how am i supposed to explain to my mom that i was admitted to the hospital but you kidnapped me within 20 minutes?
thats because you have standards... and i have a thing for guys that give me free drugs.
I feel like a pizza delivery girl of vagina tho
Which is worse that I came in public or that no one noticed?
I almost had sex at the fire station last night and I need you to acknowledge all the awesomeness that is in that sentence.
He managed to rip my nipple last night....
I woke up on the hammock spooning a box of Cheese Itz.
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