holy crap !! There is a MIDGET FAMILY in one of my rooms today !
How much trouble would you get into if you were to stomp down the hallway while loudly saying 'Fe Fi Fo Fum...'
You kept buying everyone Washington apple shots, and telling us we needed to support local produce.
My birth control alarm just woke me up from my dream where I was pregnant. Thank god.
Sometimes i look at the biltmore estate and wonder just how small George Vanderbilt's penis was...
I made out with the bride. You tell me how my night was
I just realized that I'm gonna have to lower my standards if I want random head.
It's my diet secret . . . it's like slimfast but I call it cockfast instead.
I got used. This is the happiest day of my life. I was just a huge cock and that is all she needed.
I'll come out for a little. I can't be visibly hungover at work again or I get written up and fired. And yes, I am aware of how alcoholic that sounds.
hes duct taped to the wall and we're throwing eggs at him. i love thirsty thursday.
I woke up in a bath tub and my face was sore and it wasn't because of you, I was impressed
You keep making the old jokes & I'm gonna come down with a sudden case of low-estrogen related vaginal dryness..
Tis the season to play Pocahontas! (AKA: Eat a bunch of acid and run around the yard barefoot, the first person to see the colors of the wind, wins!)
Do you feel better now that you've sent me a picture of your dick?
Yep.
If the amount of time the owner spent looking at my tits is any indication, I’d say I can probably sleep my way to the top
Randomize
