How many pudding cups do I have to eat for it to count as dinner?
4.
The ratio was 19 to 1 and the 1 was lauren so it didn't even count.
i was so worried that when his hands were down my pants he was going to find the weed i stole from him
He walked me home last night across campus while i fed him pasta out of a solo cup at 3 am.
I feel eeeverything like there's a rhythm and everything can be felt w/o ever touching it. And it's beautiful. Sunshine or raindrops it's like orgasming. Everything has a taste.
wtf are you talking about? You vomit-splattered the cop from the balcony. The cop YOU called because you drunk-dialed 911 because a 5 year old ate the last donut.
it was a krispy kreme
My stomach is revolting cause i have put food in it and no alcohol.
It's a piss down the stairs of the hotel kind of night
We are stranded. Come find us. Bring an egg
Um, would you be up for dick jousting? Stefanie is willing to pay 40 bucks.
there was 'chicken suit porn' in my search history.......also 'scuba diving porn'
I just fist bumped God in my head for last night. What a bro.
This mustache is awesome. I can't pass by a mirror without looking in it and thinking damn, I'd like to give that guy a handy.
It isn't easy. I met him at the gym. He wanted to go out he doesn't drive so I drove and he wanted Dairy Queen where his sister is the manager. This is dating in my 20's
The party bus is stocked with 5 hour energies and beer and someone handing out adderall. Best. Wedding. Ever.
Randomize
