spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
I just threw up and a whole piece of spaghetti came out of my nose. I don't even remember eating spaghetti.
u think ur still drunk from last night? i just put the eggs in the freezer and the remote in the sink. I don't wanna fucking hear it.
I think need to divide my DVD collection into "movies I've seen" and "movies I've only seen during sex"
What's the point of having 3 fuck buddies when their periods all seem to sync up
she had a concussion and she still scored nine points higher than me on the midterm
She's cheated on every boyfriend she's ever had with the same guy. She's like a slutty yo-yo.
i need to start using my dry humping skills. i was dry humping champion in 7th grade
I was just doing the math on how much beer we need for the houseboat. in doing so, I came to the conclusion that we need to open a beer distributor business.
Pro: She likes to masturbate to 50 shades of grey. Con: She reads 50 Shades of grey non-ironically.
STOP PUTTING PICTURES OF JONAH HILL IN MY KITCHEN CABINETS!
What the fuck i just wanna eat my froot loops and sext in peace. Y'all motherfuckers gotta be loud as shit and break my concentration
This fucking storm better not ruin my sex plans this weekend
You thought the flashing lights were strobe lights when they were loading you into the ambulance. You asked the EMT if he had any X.
there is partying, then there is whatever we did last night.
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