his internet history is a lot of porn, how to make a hovercraft and side-effects of jacking off too much
So Ryan had to wash the dishes. His solution: take a shower with them. I'm never eating at his house again.
I think i accidentally made vodka pancakes
What was your penis's nickname in high school? Also, what was it's theme song?
Just witnessed my roommate pick her nose and eat it in her sleep. Remember, you made out with that.
Bro, she used the potato bongs to make French fries after. She's deff a keeper.
Guess the answer to the last 2 texts right and you'll get a boob shot tonight. Guess wrong and it will be a picture of a used, boogery kleenex.
She followed me back, then proceeded to find my room, get her panda suit on? And then raid my room and pass out on my couch... what the fack do I do now?!?!
How long is enough time to schedule homosexual exploration... Like an hour?
I just singed the hair in my nose trying to re-light a joint. now all i can smell is burnt hair. day ruiner
Also, if he asks how he's doing orally I can probably ask if we're exchanging Christmas presents?
You jumped into so many bushes for no reason
I think one of your friend's offered my friend chicken tenders back at his place...just FYI he should probably come up w/ another line
He texted his hospitalized grandma while inside me, so really a perfect gentleman.
Cant get off the floor. Need more beer. Send help.
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