he shaved USA in his pubs
Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
you announced to the whole room that instead of shaving you were planning to start straightening and then braiding your pubes. awkward silence followed by everyone leaving.
We just spray painted his balls while he is passed out....I cant wait to see him try to figure this out in the morning.
I'm beginning to think I'm sterile because I definitely should be pregnant by now.
good, we got high then went swimming. shelly forgot to keep swimming so we tied her to the ladder in the shallow part with her bikini top.
Since he's sober and out of jail, he acts like we are the worst people on Earth. Fuck him, the only acceptable time in life to do coke is the early twenties. He won't take that from us.
My new dealer was watching Space Jam and eating ham off a frisbee when I went over. He's my new favorite person
Apparently there's nothing on sonza for "giving a handjob while sunbathing"
I was on tinder the whole time I was waiting for my pregnancy test results at the doctors.
WELL I DIDNT KNOW IT WAS POSSIBLE TO COME SO HARD YOU HAVE AN ASTHMA ATTACK BUT HERE I AM
We're going to get naked and build a fort instead. HAPPY NEW YEAR!
You were in the girls bathroom yelling at some random chick because you thought she stole all the urinals. That's why you were kicked out.
I told you I couldn't sleep because of the speed and you rolled over and replied "shh. just pretend."
Btw, how did you break into my room, and why did you decide that covering the mushrooms with a blanket was more secure than a lock on my door?
Randomize
