It was like what a highfive between zeus and Jesus would sound like
They normally just get fucked up and see who can hold their hand on the exhaust the longest. It's great
Well we didn't hook up. Maybe from his girlfriend's point of view, but not mine.
Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
At one point in time, he cried and said I didn't appreciate him.
You climbed into the Suite next to us at the game so you could steal the half eaten hot dog someone had left on the table. That high.
Of course the bar would go completely silent right as I yell out "I don't have AIDS"
I made a wizard staff out of Keystone light... I am therefore the smoothest wizard in all of our university's history.
They had to take me to the ER because I got a concussion in a parking garage. Not partying with lesbians for a while
you said something about joining a k-pop band before passing out topless on the trampoline.
My puke in the shower morning just turned into a puke in the restroom at work afternoon. I'm the human embodiment of dumpster fire.
I once took a shot of lighter fluid.. That's not a secret just a fucked up story
So I missed the eclipse because I was masturbating.
Humming the Indiana Jones theme song as my hand makes its way to his dick.
You asked him if he would have sex with you under the dinosaur. He declined and then you started crying, blaming the sand.
Randomize
