i miss you and i wish you were peeing between my legs right now. in a platonic way
I just speedwalked down the broken metro escalator while high. Basically all my worst fears combined
Either you made a spaghetti vodka smoothie last night, or you puked in the blender.
best. trip. ever. this is going to be too much fun. petland isnt going to know what hit them.
You should never talk to him again. Unless its you knocking on the door and punching his dick.
I think you have the right to know, the water bottle you drank out of the other night is the bottle we use to catch what drips from the toilet. Love you!
um so slept at robs. he woke up, looked at me, and said ' oh my psychiatrists are gonna have a field day with this one' I think that's when you know you can't hang out with someone anymore
How was your 8:30 class today?
Non existent. I just threw up in my water bottle on the bus.
The girl in the stall next to me is puking her brains out, I'd say she had just a good a weekend as us
I gave her some alkaseltzer ad she looked at me lke I was god
I just woke and boke and made apple pancakes. I'm kicking Monday in the dick.
She just walked out of her bedroom naked and asked me to help put her diaper on. Yeah, that pretty much sums up the last 24 hours...
Fucking adderall I just talked at the security guard for 90 minutes
DAMN HIS BEARD AND ABILITY TO USE TOOLS ON A LADDER!!
its as if im in a choose your own adventure book. except im not the reader and someone else is choosing my fate...one awesome decision at a time.
This is the most exciting thing since movie theater hand jobs
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