woke up next to her writing my name in some journal. apparently she makes every guy she hooks up with sign out.
and i do it all in one night. I'm like santa but a whore.
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
At this point the smell of shame has become my natural musk
I plan on being naked for at least 2/3 of the wedding.
He called me on my way to the bathroom and told me he wanted to hear me pee my beers out... That. Drunk.
Dude imagine how many pictures of dicks Obama gets. That can't be unusual. Almost every kids in the US has written the president a letter.
I'm high and I have a consensual booty call on the way and just thought that it was a good time to let you know that I think that you are a stellar person.
Is biking from my house to 6th street for liquor pitchers a good idea or a bad idea
I lost my favorite bra in his hotel room. Is it bad that that's the only reason I hope he texts me tomorrow?
I just remember banging him and then at some point I went and took a shower and went and laid in the closet
It wasn't exactly a dick pic. It was more like a body shot with a hint of wiener.
He brought me another shot of rum, ice and my underwear when I woke up.
What a gentleman.
I KNOW, right?!
Just hit on a girl with the line, "You look like Natalie Portman if she did drugs". Strike 1
He licked me while I ate pretzels and chips. I was really living my best life.
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