You can spell. I can kill people with no remorse. We all have our skills.
blowing a .13 at 10 AM isn't nearly as cool as I thought it would be.
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
Also...you were trying to touch his balls without him noticing
I'm at the gas station where we got beef jerky and condoms. The fact that those two are in the same sentence makes me love you more.
I'm riding in a wheelchair, being pulled by a golf cart. You need to be here.
I doubt were getting our security deposit back... the toilet just fell off the wall
he might be the rich husband I pretend to love for the rest of my life!!!!
Im just saying it can't be that bad if he drove himself to the er. We'll head that way when we finish playing scattergories
She frightens me and turns me on at the same time. She's a keeper
Restraining order pending?
also dude totally apologize for the whole drunken "want something in my mouth" text
We have your weave and dirt in our room.
I consider my hand a solid 5. So if I'm dipping below a 7.5, I might as well go with old faithful.
Today I saw someone riding a horse on the sidewalk by aldi when I went to walmart. Old town road was playing on the radio. It was perfect.
Fursuit judi Dench just stared directly at me for 3 solid minutes telling me that cats arent dogs and i believe her because if i dont cat jason derulo might try to have sex with me
Randomize
