Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
I just ate a whole bag of celery instead of getting up to get a glass of water. That high.
no normal human would even think about making waldo slutty but you
My mom is helping me re-arrange my room to make New Year's more hook-up friendly
I dont care about anyone or anything else I just want to make love to you on my air mattress
it was like, one of those nights where you keep going back to the fridge because you just can't get full. except, with sex.
at what point last night did i decided to have a photo shoot with your camel toe
Accidentally gagged on my toothbrush and puked up a Walgreen's cheeseburger. 1) I am not going to be on top of my game tonight. 2) Since when do I have a gag reflex? 3) Walgreen's cheeseburgers are awesome.
I told your dad we had a nice lunch and hung out for awhile. It seemed more appropriate than "I had a bite of his canned chili and then we ripped each others clothes off."
I couldn't find pants for like 20 minutes so I was butt ass naked just sitting on your floor
Just had my butthole waxed. If that changes your plans for Saturday..
Cocaine bath bombs are a really bad idea
This is like a walk of shame down memory lane.
I'm in the upstairs bathroom. I went to the bathroom after class and realized this is not a shit I want to have publicly. I ran home. We can go to lunch, just give me a min
I woke up under the stretchy sheet like the corners were still stuck under the bed. I had to wiggle the corners off in order to get up. I was trapped. how did that happen
Randomize
