So how was he last night?
Five-minute foot-long.
This is your typical "sorry i got drunk and tried to seduce you into having sex while you were throwing up" text.
finally achieved: got laid in the religion section of borders. thought you should know.
its friday night, im aone in my apartment and eating 2 year expired canned fruit, naked. i'm not single or anything..
pretty sure I called you last night to sing Hebrew to you.
he told me he didn't know whether he was gonna puke, pass out, or cum. i don't know if i should be flattered or offended.
She said we could only have sex if she got to keep her fake moustache on during
I dont' remember leaving St. Cloud, getting home, or apparently directing traffic in the middle of the fucking street while black out drunk.
he came during what was supposed to be the foreplay blowjob. there goes my evening.
Would it be irresponsible to use my tax refund for a boob job?
Yes. Highly encouraged though.
Btw I did not technically have a dick in me but I was naked in bed with a man during the last finals game so that is why the Warriors won
I'm just impressed that you can puke without losing your gum
i just called dibs on the taxi driver at the bar that isnt drinking. im a grown up
Just got a handjob in my psych lecture. You were right, going to class is paying off.
I was stuffing my face while buying a brownie and coffee and some kid I fucked came up behind me and said. Someone's hungry.
Randomize
