What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
If no ones going to say it, then I will. Vanessa Hudgens boobs are weird looking
Considering last night's endeavors, I am going to hell 5 times over. 1 for puking on a hobo, 1 for laughing about it, and 3 for remembering it today and laughing about it sober
My face smells like vagina and Im on my way to court. Fuck.
He wants to call Lloyd's of London and have my mouth insured.
hey you forgot your wet suit in my room you can come grab it whenever
Ryan learned the all important lesson tonight; Red Bull gives you wings, Jaeger gives you gravity.
We're at the urgent care down the street from you if you care to stop by
Didn't get the job. Searched for my references on FB and saw the pic of me weighing my head passed out.
Febreezed myself at a stop light on the way to the IRS office. Judgmental glare from some old lady in the car next to me, thumbs up from her husband.
The waitress asked if you wanted white or brown, and you said "Isn't it all the same color when it's toasted?". She stared at you for about 20 seconds before she decided that you weren't fucking with her.
i had a mental breakdown over a math asignment proposed to a glass of chocolate milk then burned my hands when i acidentally leaned on the stove i have the grill marks burned on my hands i can see them
its only been 20 minuts since i last saw you
its 2pm. u awake yet?
ill text u back later. still peeling fingernail polish off my face.
I also woke up on my floor. Naked. On a pile of clothes. With my head in the trash can. And a sheet over me.
It's cool dude. The dank is in the form of premade smores with honey grahm crackers, marshmallow cream and 420 brand choc. bars. NV weed laws have nothing on me.
It's magical, I'm just dancing. It's like prom but by myself and with less clothes.
Randomize
