FYI: if you have sex in your room with the light on, we can totally see your shadows from the parking lot
Your boyfriend has good rhythm though.
I apparently took a 45 minute shower, and became best friends with his mom.
I feel like i'm in the derek zoolander school for kids who can't read good.
Taking jello shots out of a big bowl from a measuring spoon. holla atcha boy.
I realised my life had gone downhill since being unemployed when I was making key lime pie on acid at 3am Tuesday morning.
Was just walking through the park by the river. Saw some random in a tree, we climbed up, blazed with him and bought a bag. In the tree. Real shit.
I also think about what hot dudes penises are gonna look like when theyre 80 and it's not pretty
Old men love us. For they have fine taste and disturbing minds.
I draw, I play three woodwind instruments, I press buttons for eight hours at work and Im studying to be a gynecologist... I guarantee I can make you squirt, babe.
Is he gonna be my crazy ex? Cause we weren't even together for as long as my weeklong bicurious lesbian relationship.
Ok she stopped using her fork and knife and is legit eating that steak using her hands.
I needed to bring way more fireball to class to match this professors intensity
There's a guy masturbating in front of Sephora right now
He can kiss the multicultural 3 some goodbye
the fact that your 21st birthday is also new years eve is pretty much a death sentence
Randomize
