Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
there were at least 5 of us standing around the bathroom stall cheering you on to throw up.
were drug buddies, doing lines off her ass is just a bonus
Omg you had literally better be on fire, drowning, and being crucified all at the same time to be calling me at 7:30 in the goddamn morning.
is it possible i asked you to give me a preliminary pap smear?
Also I'd like you to set a calendar reminder that goes off every day for you to take 2 minutes to think about what your life would be like without me.
id say bad/good trip...at first I wanted to claw off my skin... but then when i tried i ended up tickling myself for an hour.
Who's nuvaring is under my pillow?
It's a good cause. For your vagina.
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with someone crawling around my carpet for 3 hours trying to pick up spilled coke...
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with ME crawling around your carpet for 3 hours trying to save my investment.
The cop that got shot in the dick is here, let the entertainment begin.
I'll just tell you, some how when we were having sex on Friday my collarbone got fractured.
Is it weird that I only look up my ex on Twitter when I take a shit? May have conditioned myself to associate him with shit
So if I run into you on the street, I'm supposed to just stop drop and suck your dick?
We’ve got a propane heater on our back porch if you want to come over and eat a McRib in peace
Randomize