just by requesting 'I think we're alone now', not only did you achieve emptying the bar, but you also rubbed it in the owners face.
The solution to mudbutt is never ever Clorox wipes. It stings soooooooo bad.
So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
I think I left a blow job at your house. Can I come down and get it?
I gave it to your brother to give to you.
He gave Paula abdoul a run for her crazy
if I want to go home with a foreign boy, please feel free to let me go, sober me gives you permission to let drunken me do it
We removed her tutu and her cape, so there's no risk of her strangling herself.
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
Chef at hibachi place learned it was my bday and sprayed 20 second count worth of saki in my mouth. Not sure it was the right image to share with my kids, but thought you'd be proud.
I just got head while watching air force one. Harrison ford would be proud.
Someone touched my vagina when we were out last night. The fact that it was you is inconsequential and I am still counting it as a pull.
Before I go in, is 'I just got a root canal 2 hours ago' a good excuse to show up drunk to yoga class with a 6 pack? Because if not I think I need to go home.
Stop calling me, Mom. I'm in his closet. You're gonna blow my cover and I'm about to catch this lying SOB.
Cooked. Eating pizza. Didn't have a napkin so I took my shirt off and I'm using it.
my life is like one bad, slutty lifetime movie.
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