So the D.A.R.E. essay I helped my tutor kid write won an award. Oh the irony.
Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
Sometimes I kiss girls just to make them shut up.
How would one go about tricking someone into chugging an entire bottle of tequila?
In hindsight, the torn ligament in my knee is probably the fault of the ginbucket and jager bombs starting at 3pm. I guess I'll stop blaming it on you.
Soooo how am i supposed to explain to my mom that i was admitted to the hospital but you kidnapped me within 20 minutes?
I wish Samuel L. Jackson would narrate our bar crawls
I just came so hard there were tears. Actual tears.
No more cocaine. I spent two hours in my bathroom convincing myself I was ugly. Is this what a period feels like?
You're the worst gay friend ever.
I can't keep up with all the guys you're banging. I'm just going to start referring to them by city of origin.
Im currently watching two girls making out. In the library. Hope your studying is going as good as mine is. Haha
I woke up without my clothes on covered up with a towel on the floor because for some reason I took a bath in my clothes at 2am.
Afterwards he face timed like four of his friends screaming he banged the hot intern.
I am drunk and aggressive about the olympixs
It's spelled Olympics
The report specifies "melted cheese food" as the cause of the burns. Your pride, like your cock, isn't getting out of this without heavy damage.
Randomize
