and my herpes radar will keep us safe
apparently vodka and oj turns green when you throw it up
basic color theory
this just has baby written all over it
she literally pooped in the closet. i sent the picture to everyone i know.
Never underestimate the healing power of vomiting and a bath.
I'm drunk at the doctor. It's not that fun. Overrated in fact.
I've decided, even as much fun as it sounds, I don't care for his sodomy box.
She bellyflopped onto the poolside bar, broke one wine bottle, and stole another...the resort staff just frowned and cleaned up her mess.
Beer vodka and pink lemonade powder mixed together. So. Many. Penises. My vagina will be calling out to them tonight. Coooooooooooooome.
The melted ice in my drinks tonight is probably the most water I've had in like 3 days accumulated.
Chicks, chicks everywhere, and not a drop to drink. Dude, when did real life lesbians get HOT?
cops tried arresting me on the way to class this morning.. this is my life.
No judgement. Sometimes you gotta twerk on a legends face.
You've opened Pandora's butthole my friend. There's no going back.
this old people party is bangin. they have apple cider with everclear in it
Randomize
