Walk of Shame. In a state park.
It was like a fairy tale, until he tried to put it in my ass...
Sometimes, when I pour the powdered creamer in my coffee I like to pretend it's Colombian grade cocaine.
That's the kind of morning coffee a girl could welcome the day with.
oh man. maybe i should puke on his dick? just to test how much he loves me?
I can't remember much about walking home last night. I think I kicked a dog.
dont worry it didnt get any better. she locked herself in his room and was screaming at the top of her lungs "IM GUNA PEE ON YOUR BED"
I don't want to have to force feed him my vagina!!
using the campers leftover pizza money at the bar. Definition of great counselors right here.
You gave me your shirt to use as a napkin every time I spilled beer on myself. Before we went to the bar.
I hate to stick you with the friend but I did all the work.
I just hit your bf in the face with a mustard bottle and the guy at the table next to us bowed down to me.
Just walked by the barren window naked in a family neighborhood. Who needs dignity.
We kinda got asked to leave the strip club and on the way out, you fell again. When you finally got up we got a standing ovation from the girls behind the bar and you took a bow. It was awesome.
Holy shit last night was like the irresponsible Olympics for me
i think i passed out for a few seconds while we were having sex but he didnt notice...
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