dont quote avril lavinge. im to drunk.
I sent you an email today but due to work restrictions, I had to misspell choke sex
Fuck their fairy tale bullshit. I shall ruin it. With a few thrusts of my cock.
My itunes is telling me i listened to toxic by b spears 108 times last night
So I've only had a mustache for about 5 minutes and I'm already pretty sure it's the best decision I've ever made.
He just lit his joint with the tiki torches around his pool. He is definitely coming to my future parties
My vagina and my morals are playing tug of war
Cookies. Watch out fir falling satellites.
Ooo, yeah! Thanksgiving will be a blast. Can't fuckin wait for the next round of "have you found a nice young man yet?" Followed by a lovely helping of "don't worry, there's someone out there for you."
My balls are resting on a block of frozen cheese in a sealed bag
You only have to pretend to care about soccer until July. HE'S PRETTY DONT RUIN THIS.
He's a doctor now.. hope he can cure his small dick
I wonder what dick looks like without astigmatism?
Good to know. If our sexting moves past early 1900s vernacular, I'll be sure to use that once or twice.
I shit like a lady though so that rarely happens
Randomize
