Overheard: "his girlfriend fucks him with the lights off. It's not serious."
lmfao. well really. it's not love if you cringe at the site of his anus.
dude she wont stop talking about little people big world...she said my penis looked like zach roloff and took a picture with her phone?
i dont care about people's attitudes as long as they give me head
Sorry I had passed out by this time I think, with the chicken fingers ON my face in my bed, with all the lights on, and ketchup all over.
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
When you gave the girl your number the fat girl was like "take mine....here please take mine"
I know. I need to get a vagina tranquilizer.
I just stole a conducting baton from the chicago symphony orchestra... i have to stop drinking on weeknights
I'm pretty sure "tag teaming" and "looking for stability" are not synonymous.
Not yet.
I'll be there soon. I expect Advil and a bucket of kittens when I arrive.
low point in my life last night. licked pizza grease off my iphone screen..
She just asked to come over. She's either going to bring one of her dads guns and kill me or we're going to end up having insane lesbian sex.
I kept having to give myself encouraging advice like, "you know how a path works"
Nothing cures your heart after a boy calling you unattractive than a big fat dick
I need to stop using "I went to the Harry Potter theme park" as my pickup line.
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