Too bad my picture didn't come thru. It was one of me naked riding a unicorn with a wizard hat and a magic staff. And the unicorn had wings. And me too.
he thinks im joking when i say don't visit. i mean it's summer...he was the college fuck and now it's time for the summer fuck
just remind me when i get fired soon that august is the month i started pregaming work
Just remember that she is a giant dick-sucking forehead and you are better than that.
Kegstand on crutches, you need to get on my level.
He won't sleep with me again until I commit...
Run. There is other dick in the sea, less clingy dick.
Not sure if it's my shorts, hat, shoes, hair or soul but one of the above just got me drunk again from the glorious aroma of Keystone Light.
Here is a brilliant idea passed on from men who have that same regret. WEAR A FUCKING CONDOM ALWAYS.
ok I know you arent happy with the way we ended but paying someone to pass me an STD is TOTALLY FUCKED!!!
Laziness has hit a new level. I'm out of clean sexy underwear and meeting a boy tonight so I'm having a thong delivered via post mates.
I literally just woke up in a dog bed, in a bathtub in someone else's house...and I'm not wearing pants
Be quiet or buzz aldrin will come beat you up with science
No no no, I want to share him with you. Think of it as me sharing a piece of delicious pie with you. He was THAT GOOD.
Just remembered sticking my head out the window as i drove us to walmart and yelling that i was a golden retriever.
Also, sorry for verbally assaulting you when you asked if you could dump the bowl.
I have to have boobs, you have the charm and wholesomeness that gets boyfriends... And i have boobs
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