you kept eating the heads off the gummy bears and screaming 'euthanized!'
dude I heard her through my door. She sounded like you were holding her head under water and they letting her up for air. I recorded that shit
I tried to explain to the cop how we all have skeletons in our closets but he just wouldn't listen.
She who has the vag holds all the power. He will learn one way or the other.
People around me are just doing lines of cocaine. Like its no big deal. And I'm just here like.... Y'all want some cheezits?
He brought me breakfast in bed after our one night stand. Beer and Cheerios I may come back to this place
Do you have any puffy paint? I want to put "fiesta muthafuckas" on my sombrero but its too much to bedazzle.
We took her out for fresh air and next thing we knew, she was stumbling around the backyard picking dead leaves up off the ground and putting them in her shirt to "save them".
I rammed pretzels and Jell-O shots down the throats of those I loved.
He fell into the beer pong table and broke it. Then he threatened to throw the toliet at us if we didn't let him keep playing
Yo. What's your name again? You put "don't tell your landlord" as your name lol
When dressing for a 3way, how do I convey to the other chick I care enough to look pretty but not so much that it's a huge deal?
I definitely don't have enough experience with hookers to be in this group text anymore.
Yeah that stuff was rough. We insisted on wearing our bikinis all down college ave, and at several parties that were not beach themed
I get so pissed when there is something that NEEDS to be made fun of and you're not here.
Randomize
