she wrote "SORRY" in her vomit and left
She said you were bangin on the counters of McDonalds singing "These Eyes" at 4am
She started to tell me how she goes to a shrink, so I started thinking how to sneak out of her place, then she said part of it was for her sex addiction, long story short she's got her clit peirced n I just got laid
just saw a former disney star do a keg stand. her life choices have improved.
This time, try to not get fingered in the middle of the living room.
I DIDNT GET FINGERED
I was rubbed
Bathtub guy came to. He helped me roll the fat chick away from the fridge. Shower and breakfast are on. You're plan failed!
he's the second guy to suck on my nipple in front of my friends that i haven't made out with.
Is it bad to have a craving for speed? I feel like my nose is thirsty.
im sleeping with a therapist...so you can talk to me.
He sent me a picture of him trying to push his cock into a Gatorade bottle. I dont know if I'm impressed it didn't fit and disgusted that he sent me something so vile.
I love you too! Remember NO alcohol or weed at my residence because of legal ramifications.
I have a pair of clean panties in my purse. This is having your life together.
Our office went out together for the first time to celebrate the fact our coworker got fired.
We were so amazed while watching mission impossible ghost protocol last night we didn't even have sex
all I know is that I was naked, and there were cheeto puffs everywhere...
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