these pics are all outta focus - was this what the camera saw? or what your eyes saw?
my head feels like I tried to put alcohol out of business last night
we are learning about oedipus in english. fuck you for making this awkward for me
do you know what somber means? it's kinda the opposite of a kegstand
That's so unfortunate for him bc you can always find another penis, but he's stuck with it
when i went to the store to buy my pregnancy test they were giving carnations to all the moms and they gave me one and said "just in case"
Fuck I keep finding new battle scars from our fight. Justin told me I stabbed you with a broom handle.. Do you remember ripping my pants off?
Dude... You called me at 3am to tell me you still had your pants.
You'd think the dry cleaners next door would be less judgmental for as much business as my theme parties bring them.
Oh yea... In other news I've decided to get an external hard drive and start getting music from all the guys I'm fucking... Do you think a terabyte would be enough storage space?
are you just inviting me because you can't afford an actual stripper?
Everyone keeps telling me I look so healthy and happy today: the power of the penis people!!
Taylor Swift needs more songs about threesomes. I'm not sure she gets me anymore.
I'm not a whore anymore. I gave up 90% of my women for you. I'm a 4-5 woman kind of guy now.
Is it wrong to want to use the Dark Web to buy Vyvance for legitimate purposes?
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