I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
we just got in the car and birthday sex is playing
that is a sign the 3 of us should have a threesome
we agree. completely
did all my christmas shopping this morning at 4am drunk. never went to sleep. i was walking home drunk last night when i passed a target and saw 3 kids having a dance off. had to join. somehow they convinced me to go shoopping with them. i bought 4 disco balls and a lava lamp.
buying booze in bulk is always a bad idea. i wish there was some direct deposit-like system
my quiz for the book was only 2 questions and my one answer was sorry and then a sad face
you should be careful. everyone knows your chances of pregnancy increase by 100 percent when youre the daughter of a religious figure
Fuck going to see The Hunger Games tonight. The only thing I'm hungry for is some dick. Let's go to the bar.
He's hot though. It's not like he JUST got out of prison. That was like months ago
Do you think I could convince a doctor that my uterus is poisoning me? It wouldn't technically be a lie. It does more harm than good.
This late night dumpster diving sesh is making my quads cramp up
Do you have a moment to talk about our lord and savior, Kendra's boobs?
IF I CANT STRIP TO SANTA BABY THEN WHY EVEN HAVE CHRISTMAS.
I opened my eyes to the dog snorting coke, I decided it was best to just close my eyes and forget what I saw
Remind me to tell you about how I hit a tree with my car last night.
I'll be glad to.
Ever get that feeling that you're the back up booty call and half way through securing the fake date excuse to try to get in your pants, the guy hears back from the original booty call and drops the conversation with no explanation?
Randomize
