The guy asked if i had a problem w/set schedules
Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
Someone should tell Glenda that I only hang with her because she makes me look prettier.
We need to start having sex underwater more often.
I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
Her vagina turned into a vuvuzela. I didn't know it was a possible to have a wet nightmare.
I was giving him a handjob and he commented that he loved my nailpolish....I'm destined to die a fag hag
I'm flagged. Drank strippers water. Flashed Dave tryin to get a job here. You order the shots. Green tea betch.
All I can remember is being told by a guy named Kyle to stay in the corner until the cops left. Then waking up on a porch outlined in beer cans 8 blocks from my house. Pregaming for college.
So I managed to get the bitch who has been copying off me all semester in History to copy the names of Pokemon towns off my test.
It's his sex noise. "I'm gonna cu-THE LORD IS MY SHEPARD AND I SHALL NOT WANT"
I swear man, you fly across the country to give a boy your virginity and he suddenly thinks you like him
It was a great idea to buy that cocaine while dressed as an elf. It snowed all night for me.
Turns out the guy I did all that coke with the other night is a cop
We're dating now
If I don't wake up tomorrow you inherit my paycheck and can only spend it at cinnabon
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