You know that restaurant that is like over by home depot?
That shitty one? I heard the food sucks there
It's my parent's restaurant
East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
All I know is it had something to do with a plunger and tuna salad. I'm done. I'm quitting my job.
I made him sleep with a condom on and i passed out on the carpet with only a bra on.
He just lit his joint with the tiki torches around his pool. He is definitely coming to my future parties
its fine. mom just made me chug a long island. and made a crying face when i balked. we'll talk tomorrow.
Sorry I just took 4 pills about 20 minutes ago so I'm feeling like a claw machine like people tell me were I need to go and what to do and I'm just like yes sir so I get the teddy bear but I set it on fire and it's kinda black on one side and there might be smoke coming off it.
AND HOLY SHIT FLUBBER IS ON NETFLIX
We kinda got asked to leave the strip club and on the way out, you fell again. When you finally got up we got a standing ovation from the girls behind the bar and you took a bow. It was awesome.
He's bringing a lesbian pretending to be his girlfriend to family Christmas. I can not wait to see how this goes.
So, I've discovered that I'm approximately 70% nicer to my mother when I've had an orgasm in the last 48 hours. It's science.
You said if the geese can walk on the lake so can I.
A cop may or may not have seen my bare ass against the moonlight within the past hour
i think i left you like a 5 minute message about the mcchicken burger i was eating. I think I called wanting sex but the mcchicken burger was a lot more seducing.
you were making out with a girl because you told her you were part of Nsync
Randomize
