Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
mmmm my 21st bday fucking sucks all my best friends are pregnant...selfish assholes. they just couldnt wait til after my bday.
idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
the day after is always just damage control
he just payed for our date, after telling him I was leaving early to meet my fuck buddy. is there something lower than friendzone I can stick this guy in?
we bribed her with croutons and jello shots.
On a scale of one to america, how free are you this weekend?
Can we play rock paper scissor shot again? I want to black out in 15 minutes or less...
Why can't I live in a world where my only 2 options are rum bikini hot tub party or masturbating?
Beautiful wedding. Beautiful bride. I got shitfaced. Came home and ate two corndogs. I'm still single.
his ex girlfriend sent him a pic of her naked in the bathtub so I sent her a pic of me sucking his dick
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU
MANY MANY THINGS AND MOST OF THEM ARE YOUR FUCKING FAULT
You can't be mad... I'm letting you jerk off in my parents shower
on the bright side i found your panties and the lid to the nutella
hey. this is your former cousin. you boned my best friend last night.
Randomize
