Get your damn GED now that you are harvesting a child in her belly
What is a GED?
I hit a bug from across the room with my flip flop boomerang style. That awesome.
Her divorce is going to cut into the amount of time we spend fucking.
I'm in awe of how selfish that is.
She's doing hand stands on the train as I type. Idk if I'm impressed it embarrassed. Or turned on.
Eating cold pizza and drinking a beer for breakfast while standing in a hotel window naked is how I say hello September...
Apparently being drunk on a southwest flight and yelling "TURNUP" during take off is looked down upon in this state.
WHY WERE YOU COOKING NAKED?
WHY WERE YOU SLEEPING ON MY COUCH?
Ims textiofg thsi woht my noes bcuz my hansd aer stli handcuffde to teh bedfrme. Help me
Bring me a cialis. .. I feel like having a super dick today
Some dude just said my hair smells like his pillows
Now all I have unanswered questions and a fucked up finger
Ahh yes. I lost my pants and swimming suit and phone charger. And I've found out who has them all even while hungover. Successful day. Nice party too.
What the fuck were you guys talking about?
Lube wrestling.
Oh, makes sense.
The wine is franzia the food is cheese puffs there is a canoe full of beer and the andre glasses are mason jars glued to candle sticks. i shit you not. Best. Wedding. Ever.
Thanks for going with me today. It’s been a long time since I bought bra and panties because of a guy
It’s called “shopping for lingerie” and it’s one of the many exciting and sexy things that follow a divorce, along with sexting, sleepovers, and orgasms
But, our next lesson is picking up a younger guys at the bar!
Randomize
