all adderall does is make me the grand champion of using wikipedia.
I miss your penis. And I totally say this as a friend. I just miss it because it's great. You should be very proud of it.
No. I remember how loud you used to get. Trust me.
One of us needs to be functional tomorrow and it won't be me. I'm drinking liquor out of a fishbowl.
Ever since I told them the story of the sex in the canoe scandal its like I am in season
I think the threesome was inevitable when she walked out in nothing but his boxers followed by him completely naked.
After my date left I rallied and took the Asian girl home. Flexibility my friend.
THAT FUCKER WASTED TWO OF MY COLORED CONDOMS! HE DIDN'T EVEN FUCKING FINISH IN IT HE JUST SLAPPED IT ON AND WASTED IT!
The "don't have sex with him again" alerts you set on my phone just started going off.
Good. "Seriously, don't do it" should start in about five minutes.
Those were some damn good pancakes you made last night.
Dude I've been in FL since Monday.
You asked for 4 things: your phone, your wallet, your keys and your denture. I stopped asking questions.
I'm kind of upset that he wanted to have sex instead of watch Harry Potter. I mean it's Harry fucking potter.
Dude I am a waste of space, I just febreezed myself so I could go out and get lunch
You tried to lick the lightbulb and fell off of the chair onto my wife and gave her a concussion. Did i mention you were naked?
Well, I was arguably the most sober adult in the house by 1 in the afternoon, so I'd say Superbowl Shitshow was a success.
Randomize
