Your dad touched me again.
my mom heard me say 'don't squirt that at me' while me & him were in my room. She then decided to call my aunt and complain to her that she has the sluttiest daughter in town. she refused to believe me when i told her i was talking about gel.
I'm with your mom on this one.
Do u kno any dealers?
I've officially lost all respect for you, dad.
You were scared that your teeth were shrinking so you stuck your fist in your mouth. then you were convinced your hand was growing cuz it got stuck so yu started crying
dude i just figured out that the tostitos sign is two people eating chips and salsa. being high totally pays off sometimes
Here's the thing. I'm really high and have lots of questions about lightning.
I just saw a van full of amish parents and their kids. Those cheating mother fuckers!
The amount of guys who just came into the room to give me a high five after hooking up with him was about 5 too many.
Using your ex girlfriend's little brother to pick up women at the a&p: priceless
My legs have surpassed "hairy" and entered the territory of "furry". Maybe I should just suck it up and shave already
No now I'm curious!
I saw a kitty kat get finger blasted on the couch by a Bulls player
If I had a dick, I'd stick it in some Oreo pancakes
orgy was averted by karaoke, thank god
I'm not too sure what happened last night, but by the looks of it, we must have gotten drunk with zebras.
I'm going to get him a gold star sticker and put it on his dick
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