That guy over there looks like a cartoon/action figure.
omg, i know.
we're too high.
That's what you get for not wearing a bra and jumping on a trampoline
my "about me" section on Facebook should read "hell-bound alcoholic who wants to fuck a 40-year-old crackhead"
Y do pigs give u trufles on farmville? I WANT BACON YOU FUCKING PIG!
i'm surprised you didn't wake up. like i literally came when he was fingering me as i was spooning with you and all you did was mumble "that's a good idea, mom" and pull the sheets away from me.
I have pictures of you taking tequila shots off the front of the police car when the cop wasn't looking.
What bar did i puke in last night
by bar you must mean bars and by in you must mean on
if I just puked into my own hand, but then cleaned it up quickly, quietly, and calmly, am I still a trainwreck?
I just got a call from the front desk apparently one of my feiends was dropped off by a handicap bus passed out in a wheel chair unlv is goig down
Why do I have the 4 of hearts in my bra?
Haha we got sick of drinking on 4 is for whores so we stole the cards...I woke up with three of them in mine
drunken problem solving at its finest
Ok get your liver ready for the weekend. Harry Potter Drinking Game Marathon is a go. BYO liquor of choice, rule cards at the door. I wanna see some Hagrid level drinking out of you, Muggle.
He made the moves first, we made out...then we folded his laundry.
Dude, half of south Mississippi has seen my taint. I'm not worried.
I can't believe there are people our age getting engaged and I can't even find a solid coke dealer.
Mike's letting gay guys do body shots off him again.
My boyfriend, ladies and gentlemen.
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