you made wolf sounds and yelled "team me" the entire movie
Thats my favorite, when ex girlfriends become XL ex girlfriends
chinese tourists just took a picture of me....im pretty sure i heard the bus drive say something about shame.
Shaun got a portable breathalyzer for christmas so now we can tell who the biggest pussy is at the end of the night.
The only way I could get him to agree to hook up with her is telling him I'd hook up with him next week.
So the chick throws up over the rail from the 15th floor at the sky bar and I knew I would take her back to my hotel.
The waitress just told me I'm asking alot. So far I've asked for a soul, an angel and carbombs
he just looked at me, said "i think i'll keep you around, you put the seat back up and everything," and then burst into tears.
I just want school to he over so we can build a big tent, do drugs inside it, and watch cartoons until the sun comes up.
That's all I've ever wanted.
Walking out of the bathroom and not knowing you have hand soap on the front of your pants so it looks like you blew a load on yourself really sets the tone for the rest of the week...
After the keg stand you collapsed, hit your head on the floor, started seizing and after 20 seconds got back up and said "hah, I remember my first beer"
the cops are being surprisingly chill about david hanging from a tree with no pants.
I woke up with your vibrator in my face
My life has turned into sitting in the driveway listening to Total Eclipse of the Heart while staring at the Blue Moon. Hey, August. Let's be nice. I need help.
he's annoying when i'm sober but vaguely hot when i'm drunk so yes i do have a preference and it goes by the name of vodka
Randomize
