Dear everyone that texted me last night wondering where i was. i ended up face down blacked up drunk before i made it to the party. My bad
i cant be the least bit upset about his new gf cause all i think is that she has to put things in his ass
Just sold this kid "Magic Furry Apples". He is way to high to figure out they are just peaches.
At least he's a nutritious stoner...
You asked my mom "who the fuck drives four hours to sleep in a guys bed and not touch his penis"
Guy in our group took down a chick in a wheelchair last night.
I pulled my bra out of my dress and handed it to my mom..at cocktail hour during the wedding.
I don't like him near enough to give up day drinking AND my prostitute costume
Is it socially acceptable to stop at the strip club for the lunch buffet on my way to the airport?
I think I hit my head on every surface in that apartment last night
I've been on the toilet for an hour. On a six day bender. My ass feels like its leaking vodka
His encouragement of my recreational drug use is the backbone of our nonrelationship. That, and rough animal sex and loud music.
She wasn't one for labels or anything serious really but while she was riding me she yelled marry me. It's like she fucked her self into commitment lmao she realy is a keeper bro
I already left my house once this summer. Maybe we could do something in October.
So I'm hiding in my bathroom smoking bowls because my landlords kids came over to visit my dog... My life has reached a new low
Just had an emotional break through with the dog. That high.
Randomize
