i love that he's uncircumcised. it makes handjobs so much easier. it's the lazy susan of penises.
she tried giving me head in the pool. it was more entertaining than pleasurable
Dude I broke my bong in half this morning. I kicked it as I was jerking off. I would never hide anything from you.
It's pretty bad that I know he's opening his door from the way it squeaks because I have snuck out of his room so many times this semester...
I was more concerned about the amount of mcdonalds fries on the floor around me than i was with my lack of clothes.
As a jewish boy dating her she thinks everypart of christmas is my first time. Helllllo bj under mistletoe!!
I think I just asked the Greek gyro guy on a yoga date.
We had three bowls going. It was a tri-bowl tournament. Harry potter shit.
Made eye contact with a friendly neighborhood dog walker while violently puking out the window. How's your Wednesday going?
the only thing you said was do the helicopter dick
If the river was whiskey, it would be the best river ever.
Evvvvvveryone knows we hooked up in the DJ booth. People call it the BJ booth now. I've created a legacy
True love: he brought me a margarita while was in the shower. He's a keeper.
come home. i made deep-fried hotdogs; don't let me die alone.
Leave it to you to bring a trash can into a fist fight.
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