Don't feel obligated to get back to me but I think I just fell in love with a middle aged waitress at the Dennys in waco. She's used but in good condition.
Dude love is like an itch. You fuckin scratch it, then it itches more, then you scratch it and it itches more, and before you know it, there is semen everywhere.
you are insane
Your fb status are always so intriguing.. Often make me picture you naked
I can't tell if I miss summer or 5 times a day sex more.
Sitting in a bubble bath with my bong, how's your morning?
The sorority chicks were the Persian army, and we were their 300 Spartans. Can barely stand up now...such a good ratio
I got woken up by a construction worker, turns out I was laying in a hallway, naked and wrapped in a matress pad. To answer your question no, I did not study for this test I got David Hasselhoff drunk
She straight up told me, "I don't care if he films as long as he's quiet." You sure you can't find the camera?
Everyone at work loved my story about sobering up in a river with no bra on.
Sexual Frustration City, population: Me.
I just tried to give a picture of a dude a blowjob. through my computer screen. I was leaning forward with my mouth open and everything so WALK AWAY
I'm not saying I haven't been that drunk. I'm just saying I haven't been that drunk and then have cops buy me shots.
How do you initiate sexting are u supposed to be like yo I'm peeing and eating a clif bar and texting and thinking about you naked all at the same time
fond memories of taking my pregnancy test here in this Burger King
She turned down sex for beer pong. I'm not sure if I should be disappointed or not.
She's dancing around licking a fork of nutella. She is not sober.
Randomize
