just when i thought things couldnt get worse, the batteries died in my vibrator.
Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
I should have some sort of frequent buyer card or something. I just bought my third bottle of Captain this week. It's Wednesday.
no. the fact that it's halloween completely overrides the fact that it's sunday. youre going out whether im dragging your boring ass or not.
Awkward family moment #1: walked in on my 15 yr old nephew packing a bowl. Nephew says- "lets not ruin christmas and keep this our little secret"
maybe these stereotypes wouldn't come up if you would stop taking body shots off another
Dancing naked to Celine dion - im alive. No better way to start the day
Spending 4 hours in the emergency room today tells me that your birthday party was a success.
I saw a picture of my dad holding my legs in a kegstand. Town festival=success.
Yeah. I mean it wasn't that awkward. I just made conversation like there was absolutely no lack of pants.
You lit a fire in my vagina no man can extinguish.
Or I could hide in your trunk so you can sneak out of putt putt for sex breaks
So the next time I call you and say I'm going to my first strip club because it's christmas eve eve, and have work the next morning, I'd appreciate you stopping me
Oh hell no my vagina is on that screenshot
I left my panties in the microwave for too long and they caught on fire
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