just shaved my legs at the gas station bathroom before going to the club. is that too ghetto?
adderall just fell out of my nose in class. guy next to me just nodded.
Who the hell brings a 6pack to a party. I'm trying to make mistakes.
so this guy comes in from the patio covered in puke and says "we gotta go"...Yup u need to go is an understatement
Reading in my econ of energy textbook about the US' largest oil spill from the 1990's.. guess i can't sell this one back either
two fat guys on crotch rockets just invited me to 'party' with them at a del taco. why does this keep happening to me?
You know summer is almost over when ur school booty calls start hitting u up as if solidifying their spot in drunken mistakes for next semester
Strip mythology. Everyone wins. Most of all me.
I'm wearing spiderman underwear, the question is what am I NOT capable of
woke up in a random sweater in a random bed in a random house on a street I don't recognize..
also, I vaguely remember swapping shirts with some random guy on the dance floor.
If the river was whiskey, it would be the best river ever.
I appear to have wine on my toes. I am really not clear as to how this happened. I'm gonna have a little lie down.
It was a frighteningly large penis to say the least
I just woke up hand cuffed to the bar and shirtless, so yeah I think I need you to come get me.
Bitch got stabbed in the eye. With a fork. Wait for it... At church. I was the only one at a party interested in her story. Only in the south
Randomize
